I have tried as much as possible to steer off this topic but it keeps coming back to haunt me– hence the reason for this write up.
And for the record, I am not a relationship blogger but I’m still in my twenties, we seem to encounter, hear and see these things happen.
I’m quite sure y’all are familiar with Friend with Benefits- an arrangement between the opposite sex where they agree to have sex with one another without being in a relationship. This has gradually become a norm and people don’t seem to mind as it ease them from becoming committed to the other party.
But then, there seem to me a new update to this arrangement which I have tagged ‘Arrangement of Convenience’
I will use myself as a reference to make this easier to understand.
Now let’s talk about me being in a relationship. Along the line, I met another hotter dude- Ladies are quick to say one guy is hotter than the other by just a few characteristics anyways-but then I meet some other guy whom I don’t mind being with and who feels the same. He knows about my relationship- makes it very easy. We assume we are in love, hang out, spend time together, speak regularly and then have sex. One day, one of us get tired and moves on leaving the other party with little or no explanation.
With our arrangement, no one is supposed to be pained but because there’s an emotion attached already: hurt seeps in. I begin to live in pain because I was hung out to dry until someone else come along. And I use this new person as a rebound to get over the last one. This cycle continues on and on.
But for how long, I ask?
This is happening to 6 out of 10 singles in their mid 20s. They’ll tell you ‘I’m single’ but they have buddies who are there like their date but are not.
And as usual, the lady is always at the receiving end. She’s always the one who get emotionally attached and more hurt when it’s over.
On the part of the guy, it’s a different ball game. He doesn’t want commitment as he is not ready to get married, can’t cope with women drama, not ready to meet any financial need; makes it very easy for him to move on to the next lady who will make herself available to him for the next few months.
I really dunno how this is fast becoming a part of us but it is happening.
If you are not ready for a relationship, don’t start it. Definition is important when going into one.
Don’t allow yourself be broken because of a guy or lady. Some people will not heal for a long time and when they eventually do, a huge part of them has gone without them knowing.
Don’t choose to hang out with a dude simply because you perceive he is hot.
Don’t make yourself always available to every guy/lady you meet. Learn to say NO to arrangements that will cost you your self esteem.
Not everyone has good intentions for you.
Try to discern and save yourself a whole lot of emotional drama and trauma.
Until then, keep being the best version of you!