Welcome

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For a very long time I have wanted to do this. Create a blog where our opinion will count. A space where the writer and the reader can both interact and share their views.

I have thereby created this so we can have a bit of chit chat, play around ideas and innovations. Explore topical issues around us and input our own quota to these.

We shall both be doing this together and I hope I make this ride as interesting as possible.

You are very welcome hunnays!

 

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Deactivating Soon

Hello darlings, please kindly re-follow the new domain name Debwritesblog.  I am having issues with working with both at the same and it looks like I am messing both account up. I would need to deactivate Debwritesblog.wordpress.com within the next 24hours.

 

Please I need you to bear with me and help me move the new domain up to speed and date as well.

 

Thanks darlings!

Should Age Be A Factor to Choosing your Ideal Role Model?

Hello darlings, I am really sorry for my inconsistency here. Truth be told, I have loads of write ups on my notes but I haven’t had time to edit and share them as I love to share from my computer. But going forward, I will always learn to share from my mobile WordPress app. 

I am a day late from my fashion post. I am going to share before the week runs out.
Let’s move on to today’s topic…

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I used to like Dammy (not her real name). She was a pretty girl, courageous, always happy, an achiever, already has 2 academic qualifications and some juicy certification to her name. And a successful entrepreneur. She is well traveled, learned and a multilingual. She was every girl’s ideal role model! 



I stalk her everyday on my Instagram and even had to follow her on Snapchat just to know more about her and see how she balanced life, school and even social media with her success.


…until she celebrated a birthday and I realized I was 3 years older…
Confession!

I was angry!

How could I be modeling my life after a young girl as such!

I felt I had lived a lie since I started modeling my life in her path. I felt there was nothing I could have learnt from her. I concluded she was just too young to teach me anything. I believed I should look at people in my age group or older than I am. Honestly, I was so full of spite for her.

Until I learnt better…

We live in a society where people look down on you immediately they learn your age. This is the reason why most people just choose to hide their age. If you are too young, they tend to treat you as inexperienced. If you are too old, they scorn you for still being in the position you are without a success story.

It’s a crazy society we live in.

I’m sure I am not the only one who has felt that way. I eventually learnt Dammy should have being a challenge to me and set me on my toes to do better.

I shouldn’t have hated the poor girl for being so blessed, successful and intelligent. I personally feel age shouldn’t be a determinant to who we fashion our lives after. As long as such a person fit into our ideal role model.

I think people just seem to not like each other and get too spiteful. If I could love Kylie Jenner hustle and envy her (she’s way more younger than I am), then why not celebrate another simply because she’s black like I am.

We seem to believe nobody knows it all than we are because she’s younger than we are, that’s why we remain in a position for too long.

Be teachable! 
Be correctable!
Accept mistakes!
Stop spiting people simple because they are younger than you and do better than you
Age shouldn’t be a factor to who you can learn from. Everyone has a different measure of success.
Live
Learn
Love
Thanks for reading darlings.

Remember to tell a friend to check this blog out.

Love you loads💋💋

P.S: There would be a giveaway on Debwritesblog Instagram page today. Please follow to participate in this giveaway. 

Moving to Debwritesblog.com

Hello Debwritesblog lovers, please note that the blog is finally moving to its own domain name debwritesblog.com.
Kindly tell a friend to tell a friend. Correct this in your bookmark.
More details will be shared as soon as this change is effected. Thanks so much for your support and love! 
See you on the other side💋💋
(c) Debwritesblog 

Don’t Be That Girl

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Don’t be that girl

Who strongly advocates for feminism

And now preaches endurance and submission

Don’t be that girl

Who swore never to ‘settle’

But now desperate to marry anyone

Don’t be that girl

Who chastise other girls who club, drink and smoke

You now own a club and hate your friends who don’t patronize you

Don’t be that girl

Who condemns girls who run after other girl’s boyfriend

You are now married to your best friend husband

Don’t be that girl

Who is the first to insult every babymama online

You are on your sixth abortion

Don’t be that girl

Who is quick to judge other girls who still live with their parents

This is the fifth friend you have put up with in 3months

Don’t be that girl

Who is desperate to fits in

All the boutique owners lock their store whenever you approach

Don’t be that girl

Who berates other girls for been too selective

Shiloh 2016 is almost here…

Aunty, never say never!!!

Thanks for reading darlings, I love to read your feedback…

TMI (Too Much Information) Tag

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Hello darlings, been wanting to know a little about me than what I wish to share. Well, you have it now…

 

I came across this TMI (Too Much Information ) tag on Funke Olotu’s blog and I cringed when I read it, you can read hers here. To be honest, while reading…I was answering the questions for my part but when I got to a point I said Nooooo…this is too much. But here I am, she challenged me and I hate a challenge so I gotta answer!😢😢 Continue reading

The Unseen Scars

 

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Google Images

I have heard and read quite a number of abuse in relationships and marriage. The stories are really pathetic and you begin to wonder how these people find themselves in this and still choose to stay.

 

Before I go further, are you aware abuse is not just limited to physical beating?
According to loveisrespect.org “Abuse is a pattern of behavior used to gain and maintain power and control, and it can come in many forms.”

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Monochrome- Black & White

Hello darlings, it’s another Wednesday. The day to share a fashion post. I hope my male readers are not getting bored already. Not to worry, one of these Wednesday I will share a male fashion post😉 Continue reading

Happy New Month!

Hello darlings, it’s another beautiful month- NOVEMBER…

I am glad you made it and I look forward to celebrating more with you…May this month bring us closer to our dreams.

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Can we officially begin the countdown to Christmas??? I love holidays *biggrin*

Cheers!

Introducing The Fuckboys #1

Love quote

We live in an age where everything is staged
Where all we do is fake our feelings
– Jon Bellion

When I tell people I have eyes everywhere, most of them laugh but I actually do see a lot. Anyway, I have been meaning to do a series of blog posts on this fuckboy or demonizing thing guys do these days but procrastination. What’s this about? A fuckboy is a guy who play girls, get them emotionally or physically attached with no intention of really being with them or building a serious relationship. On Monday, a friend did a rant on Snapchat (follow me @mystique_dammy) about guys. I loved it. For real, I admire girls that are not ashamed to voice their opinions. That led to this post which I hope you find funny or not.

Meet BWM
This stands for boys without a mission. That fresh fine guy who dresses just too cute and speaks great English or just has this smooth way of talking and got you feeling like ghen ghen. Just when you think you’ve got your life in order, edges slaying, brows fleeking, skin glowing and loving yourself, they walk into your lives (if you want them to). Then they profess feelings, string guitars and serenade you till you fall in love (walk into love) but they have no future use for you. Some guys would say “let’s see how it goes”. If a guy or girl is putting you on the “let’s see how it goes” note, you should run. A guy or girl going into a relationship should know what he or she intends to add to you and the essence of the relationship. BWMs will use you in building their dreams and achieving their goals but on the long run, you’d be left behind as you were never in the future plan in the first place. This leads to the next class of guys.

Meet BBs
I have made so many jokes about this category that I have lost count. These are the bae blockers. When some BWMs got you on lock down and you’re holding on and think something good will come out of them, they could become BBs. That’s bae blocker. It could even be a guy or girl you don’t like and you’re avoiding. Yep they will block serious prospective bae. It might be happening and you wouldn’t know until someone points it out.

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Beware of BBs. You shouldn’t be afraid to ask where the “friendship” is going. I read a story recently on Instagram of a lady who had been friends with a guy for over three years and he suddenly proposed to her. She was dumbfounded as they were not even dating, only for him to say he thought they were. Odd right? She declined the proposal. People should be straightfoward and declare their intentions.

Meet NFAs
These guys are cut from the same material as BWMs. However they have nothing going on for them. They don’t know what to do with their lives and can become dependent on you. Some would even date you, eat your food and spend your money but then leave you for someone else. How can they be serious with you when they are not serious with their own lives? Some are still dependent on their parents for money and aren’t even in charge of their lives. Be smart, watch and pray.

Summary of this post, beware ladies and be smart. Same goes for the guys though, there are some ladies that fall in the categories above. Surprised? Don’t be.

Which category of these guys/girls have you encountered or heard of before? Share your experience in the comments.

You love this post? Why don’t you check Life of Dammy for more juicy, amazing posts. You can also subscribe to her blog to get updates on new posts…

This was originally posted on Introducing the Fuckboys.

Stay tune for The Fuckboys #2

Lies Women Tell

 

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Source: Indian Times

After reading Debonairng posts on Common Lies Nigerian Men Tell, I thought, “Well, not only men lies, women do too.”

 

And I have put up a few, you can add yours after reading. And where you disagree with me, please mention…lols…Let’s get to it, shall we?

 

  1. He means nothing, we are just friends

When a lady says this, my dear brother don’t believe her and assume they are actually just friends. Probe further. Ask questions. Be at alert. They can go from just being friends to much more…

 

  1. It is just you I love

Well, this may be true in some cases but trust me when I say a woman has the heart to love more than one man. Yes, she may actually and really love you but she may be catching feelings for another. Well, she doesn’t have to tell you that. She just need to tell you what you want to hear…

 

  1. It’s okay, we are fine

If after a fight/argument, your girlfriend says this, uncle…all is not well! It is not!! Please it is not!!! It’s either she already has an alternative and she’s thinking of ditching your ass already. So don’t give up begging until you are really certain all is well in paradise.

 

  1. I’m on my Period

When a girl is getting tired of you, this usually pops up…She can’t stand you anymore or she’s getting the D elsewhere…

 

  1. You are the only Man I’ve done this with…

You are hearing this because you have a fat purse or you are special in some other ways best known to her. Trust me, you may not be the only one especially if she’s an expert at whatever it is you guys have just done…

 

  1. I ran out of Data

She refused to respond to your chat or the chat did not even deliver at all…errrm bros, she’s actually with another uncle and she doesn’t wish to be disturbed. Trust me, as soon as she is done she will be all loving and sweet with you, you won’t even remember you were angry a moment ago…

 

  1. Your D size is just Perfect

Uncle, if you know it is not…don’t believe her. If you’ve ever heard her compliment bigger ones, then you should be scared… It is not perfect. She’s only hanging on until she sees a better option…

 

  1. I just want to hang out with the girls tonight…

She has an event to attend and you wish to follow her there and she tells you this. My dear brother, she is not proud of you. She doesn’t want people to see her with you in public. You is a private property not for public view especially if you are car-less and you both have to bike there or use Uber to front…errrrm….

 

Feel free to add your own…

Rocking a Skater Skirt

Hello darlings, it’s another Wednesday. And yes, I made it! Another fashion post. Today, I am sharing how I rocked a skater skirt.

 

Skater skirt are a wardrobe staple and every girl should own one. It can be rocked as a corporate outfit, on a date with boo, to church, weekend visits and what have you depending on how you style it. It’s comfortable and stylish. I love it more because it helps me to hide my bulge when I have eaten too much…*coversface*

 

I have got a couple of skater skirts, and I will share pictorial ways I have rocked it over time.

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Voila!!!

 

Did I rock them well? Which is your favorite? I plan on getting shorter ones and trust me to share with you when I rock.

 

If you like this post, please share with others…

 

Have a beautiful day ahead…much love darlings!

 

 

MY VAGINA, MY PRIDE, MY JOY: THE STORY OF MY VAGINA

“The society I live in is ignorant of this beautiful organ; thevagina, of the beautiful feelings it evokes, the pride it comes with – having the power to hold a penis, a million sperms, and allowing the passage of a baby.”

This was originally posted on Debonairngblog.

 

Of all the things my mother never taught me, the vagina was one of them.  Growing up, I had a little or no awareness about my vagina, where exactly it was ‘down there’ and why I had that unique organ.

 

The first time I ever heard about the vagina, I was in college. A female teacher had come into the class, for we were all girls, to tell us about the menstrual cycle, the female organ and that pregnancy can happen. The lecture was not overtly communicated but the message was that we should never let the boys close to our organs and later, I got to know that she was actually talking about the vagina.

I grew in a society where as a female, I was never taught to talk about what lied between my legs. Talking about it was tabooed because my mother or anyone else never talked to me about it and the little I knew, I read from books which I would hide at the sounds of footsteps for fear of being caught flipping through the pages of books with images and words of the breasts vaginas and penises.

Mbagwu Amarachi Chilaka

Mbagwu Amarachi Chilaka

Because I had no one to talk to about my vagina, an opposite sex had written me when I was fifteen, telling me about the vagina, the pains it comes with and how much better it was to have penetrations at an early age to ease child labour in the future. I only read his notes, cried and lived. He further threatened to rape me and all I did again was cry and ask the darkness in my head why I had a vagina, why I was a woman.

Once, my mother had woken me in the kid of the night to talk about virginity and the vagina but she kept referring to the vagina as ‘there’ the many times there was a need to mention it. I noticed the shake in her voice, how her voice danced for words to send the messages she already stored in her mind, and I immediately concluded that she either had no enough courage or that she didn’t to call the vagina by it’s name lest I think it’s normal and begin to say it.

It is true that no woman gets through life without stories to tell and the story of my vagina is one that I can only tell through the ink because, my vagina was a part of me that I lived in the dark with. I never talked about it with anyone, not even with my reflections in the mirror or the tranquility in the room when I was alone. I had a hard time calling my vagina by its name or anything else except in my thoughts because, I grew only hearing few people saying the word in very low voices and later being condemned for letting such words come out of their mouths.

At seventeen, the words ‘Sanitary pad, shaving and menstruation’ scared me. They became too huge to escape my lips and my society made it more difficult for me to ask questions about them. My family never had the time to talk about the vagina and the things it does, they were always busy talking about dreams. My friends never had the time too and my teachers at school thought they had taught us all we needed to know. What they never knew was that I had so many other questions to ask about my private part; the organ down there. Questions like if I was supposed to let the thick hairs growing on the skins down there to continue growing because small boils developed on skins the few times I shaved them.

I wanted to ask why I got stained each time ‘Aunty Flo’ visited even with the sanitary pads. I wanted to ask where exactly my piss and my period came out from but I was too afraid to ask. No one was talking about those things, and I couldn’t look at my vagina in the mirror while I peed or while my period flowed because I constantly feared that someone would walk in through the door, see me staring at my vagina and say,

“Amara, you’re a corrupt child,” and later report to my mother who would hit me and ask what kind of woman I was growing into.

Once, Aunty Flo didn’t visit when it was time and I grew scared because I had touched a seven year old boy’s male organ and I thought pregnancy had happened. Who could I talk to about my fears?

Nobody!

And so, I stayed in my dark with my vagina band fear and Aunty Flo visited the next month.

I am twenty-one and I cannot talk about my vagina boldly and in a loud voice like I talk about my dreams because, I still live in that same society; one that will condemn me if I do without knowing the kind of joy that comes with having avagina, without recognizing the beauty and strength of the vagina. The society I live in is ignorant of this beautiful organ; the vagina, of the beautiful feelings it evokes, the pride it comes with – having the power to hold a penis, a thousand sperm, and allowing the passage of a baby.

They do not know of its strength and they do not also know that one day, myvagina will become a source of happiness to me, it will assist in my joy as my cute babies will be brought into the earth through my vagina!

 

I really do not understand the society we grow up in sometimes. Leaving people to believe the most ridiculous things about themselves. never evolving and never correcting this notions!!!

 

Thanks for reading. Don’t forget to leave your thoughts on this in the comment section below.

Pretty Girl

Hello guys, it’s the beginning of another new week. Hope you all had a great weekend cos I did. My Saturday was for Owanbe with an old acquaintance I haven’t seen in years and it was great catching up with her. My Sunday was totally for rest, preparing for the new week and of course MOVIES!!!

 

Last week, I stumbled on this song on my Apple playlist. Usually, I am not the type that just download songs except I have heard it somewhere before or someone has mentioned it to me before but when I saw this one, I was tempted to listen to it first before downloading. The first verse and chorus got to me and I had to google the lyrics and sing along as I listen.

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Home Chores I Detest!

Hello guys, it’s Saturday. The typical day to do laundries and loads of house chores. I love Saturdays cos it gives me time to clean out my closet and put my room in order. It’s also a day for me to love my bed the way it deserves to be loved, bond with families, hang out with my girls, and best of all watch movies! I’m a huge movie addict.

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to do all of this today as I had to attend a wedding. After all, Saturdays are for Owanbes (Nigerians word for parties). But then before I left home for the party, I had to quickly do a few chores so as to avoid a pile tomorrow. As I did this, I realized I was skipping some deliberately and that’s because I hate to do them.
Here goes the list:

 

Mopping the Floor

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I really dunno why I hate this chore but I have always avoid it. When I was younger and lived with my parents, I always make sure to pass it to my kid sister. It’s a chore I find too stressful. So immediately I smear the marble/tiles, I clean to avoid finding a reason to mop on Saturdays. I still do these days though if need be but I try to avoid it and find someone else to do for me.

 

Washing Pots
I am sure I’m not the only one who find myself in this dilemma. I find it annoying when I wake up to tons of pots in the sink. Who even invented pots and make them look so big? One of some can even occupy the sink space. Washing pots can be frustrating especially the ones with burnt food…aaaaargh….and those parties type of pots…please don’t try my patience!

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Sorting Dried Clothes

Washing I don’t mind as long as it’s mostly my clothes and few of others. Spreading to dry, I can endure. Packing from the line, I can try. But sorting it into the closet😭😭Can someone just help me with that???? You have to select the jean from the tops from the dresses…fold or hang…who invent all these chores for crissake!

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Ironing

There was a time I used to enjoy ironing. It feels so good for me to iron my dresses especially and hang them in my closet waiting to be worn. Suddenly, it is has become a task I don’t look forward to. Especially a starched outfit, sweet Lord…I can never iron that one without a crease. Thank God for dry cleaners.

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Source: home.howstuffworks.com

 

Which one would you have added to the list?

 

Thanks for reading, don’t forget to share if you like this post.

 

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Staying Relevant Goes Beyond Looks

Hello Debwritesblog lovers, I’m here again. Fourth post in a week and it feels so good. That feeling to be inspired and share is second to none *well, only a writer will understand that part*😉 We pray for more inspiration, no more writer block and the time to share, Amen🙏🏼

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